>Here’s Herman tackling some witlof and nubbling on a cuttlefish.
Best European Blog For Three Years Running -
Bloggies 2005, 2006 and 2007
Tell me I'm gorgeous. All you need to know about me, and more, if you ask.
About the Blog
This blog is mainly rants about my household, which has been described by a friend as a mixture of 'The Osbournes', 'Absolutely Fabulous' and 'My Family'.
People who have said this weren't smiling. Let's face it, it's bleeding obvious.
The household is made up of myself, Zoe, an oasis of calm, Coralie, a 21 year-old stroppy little cow, her twin sister, Tatiana, who bosses the Twat and me around and winds up their brother Todd, a seventeen-year old with the attention span of a goldfish.
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My Shopping Centre
You can buy my book by emailing me direct. It's made from recycled trees and no newts were harmed during the production. The Twat was. Much to my delight, mwahahahahaha ....
Spend, Spend, Spend at my gorgeous emporium - or shop for Merkins.
Spend more here. at my specially designed Euro Boutique.
MY FLICKR PHOTOS
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What's on in Belgium
Up Front Brussels
Expat Social Networking Website
PictureNose - Current movie reviews, movie news and movie gossip.
Together magazineNon Twats
3limes - A wonderful Expat blog brought to you from Uganda. Yes. Uganda.
(The) Aardvark Speaks - Clever, funny, captivating.
AmberBamberBoo - Life with 4 kids and Len.
Andy Ramblings - A bit of this and a bit of that.
Anji Patchwork - Family life in France.
Area Trace No Search - A police-blog. It keeps me captivated and is well worth a read.
Bart - Another Belgian. Another excellent blog.
Bibil - She cooks, she's smart and she gets me talking French again.
Big n Juicy - Random mumblings about random things in a random way.
Blaugustine - Nathalie's cartoon alter ego.
Blogeois - Once mistaken for Canadian Royalty - shocking!
Blog from Abroad - New house, DIY, a dog, a husband, two toddlers and a baby. Oh, and Lisa, who can cook.
Blogzira - Lucy versus Portugal. More fun than the World Cup - well, we'll see this year.
Brain Lint - Ellen, RIP.
(The) Brussels Jungle - Satire at it's best.
(The) Cartoonist - Quirky sketches from a quirky guy.
Chase me Ladies ... - I chased, I read, I laughed.
Daddy Papersurfer - A bizarre blog by an old git - and just because he now has his own domain name, nothing changes.
Diamond Geezer - Everything you need to know about London - and more.
DulwichMum - An amazing blog; funny, sarcastic and very tongue-in-cheek. It needs dusting though.
Family Affairs and Other Matters - A continuation of a blog plus a huge picture of her arse.
Foilwoman's Diary - When the going gets tough the tough gets going ....
F:lux - If he does it, she blogs it. Makes good reading, not to mention the photography.
[from fuck-up to] fab! - Female, frazzled, very kind. I'd say bonkers, too.
Gemmak - A biker girl with a soft heart.
Goat Food - An excellent blog written by somebody really quite lovely.
Gordon McLean - All round genius. I owe him a Lada.
Guyana-Gyal - Stories from South America.
Homo Escapeons - He's from Canada and manages to come out with more than science and kittehs. Give him five.
How to Learn Swedish in 1000 Difficult Lessons - A gay couple coping with foreign languages.
Invader Stu - An English bloke stuck in Holland, drawing great cartoons, getting married (sort of) and having accidents.
Inspector Gadget - The first police-blog that made me realise just what else is out there. Incredible, fascinating - read the others.
John Strain - Sense and sensibility with a touch of sparkle.
Jo in Japan - Life and musings of an English teacher in Japan.
Jonny B's private secret diary - Life. In Norfolk.
Kaliyuga Kronicles - He claims to be witty, urbane and handsome. Trouble is, he's not.
Krimo's (cookery) Blog - An interesting and funny insight into the cooking world. Full of humour, love and compassion.
Life is a Pig! - Life after 70 and several beers.
Little.Red.Boat - A simple blog that captures each moment perfectly. She also loves making lists.
Me and my big mouth - Scott Pack's blog.
Mimi in New York - A Brit in the US.
Mr. Nighttime - Superb writing from a usual suspect.
Mommy has a Headache - Sex, children and laughter. Why wasn't she here before?
Past Imperfect - Pat's life. A treasure to read.
(The)Pissed Kitty - Insanely funny.
Publog - A bloke, a pint, a wheelchair and a great sense of humour.
Raised by Chaffinches - He's flown back.
(The) Red Mist - Only added seeing as he thinks my Wish List is naff. And he lives in Wales.
Ricardiblog - A Canuck finally starts blogging. After 6 years of persuasion, and all he blogs about is science and cars??
Sablonneuse - How does this woman live with what she puts up with - inspiration to us all.
Saltation - A bloke who makes life sound funny.
Scaryduck - A duck with a passion for Belgian buns.
Sim - Sim's blog - powered by Girlpants and a small child.
Smaller than Life - This blog makes my day complete.
The Mommy Blog - A 21st Century Mom.
Tine - Another Belgian, a great photographer.
Troubled Diva - I love this blog which contains the best photo of 2002.
Turquoise - Lisa and Cameron back in Blighty, with yet another daughter.
Vallalar - In the Eye of the Beholder - A photoblog from another lovely Belgian.
VeryVeryBored - The produce of someone who is incredibly bored.
Walls Come Tumbling Down - Kenny. He's mad.
(The) Wrath of Dawn - A Canuck. With a chainsaw.
AWOL Bloggers
A Free Man in Preston - Oodles of laffs from t'up North.
Audi Olympics - A screamingly funny blog from someone called Nigel.
Chez Milady - The Slapper has disappeared again.
Counting Sheep - There's more to counting sheep in this blog.
Daphne Wayne-Bough - She's so classy, she's bonkers.
Goth of some sorts - Based in Belgium, has Spanish roots and is originally from Wales. A Eurocrat, to be sure.
Honey Letting off Steam - A family blog living in Wales which never fails to surprise, no matter what faces Honey.
It Always Rains in Wales - Brought to you from Wales.
Joliet Jake - He's absolutely off his head.
Mannekin Pics - Daily photos of Brussels by Quarsan. An excellent photoblog.
Naked Blog - Saucey, daring, and incredibly interesting.
Rachel North - Incredible. Strength, wit, love and dedication make this a top blog.
My Trailer is Bigger than Your Trailer - This blog reads to you. Accent and all. Highly amusing.
s e v i t z d o t c o m - Great humour, lousy speling.
Quickos Daily News - An update on Quickos' exciting life with the Twat !
Speaking as a Parent - Well-written. A blog that I can understand.
That's the way Life is ... - A lovely little blog all the way from theWestEast Coast.
Watski's World - Whacky humour.
Flowers that I'd love to receive
T-Shirt Humor
The only T-Shirts that I'd ever buy are from T-Shirt Humor
Thanks To...
FeedBlitz - for the email update service.
Bravenet - for the guest map.
Andy - for being such a twat as to set all this up for me.
AND
Andy Hopkins for hosting and helping hugely to set this up.
Britblogs
Copyright
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial- NoDerivs 2.0 License.Look At My Ring
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18 Comments
Please reassure me, as I have never seen a post containing reference to both Herman and Todd, and not seen a recent picture of Todd. They are separate entities, aren’t they? Zoe is not the mother of a reptile is she? Her son is not a slow, shy creature who only eats and excretes, is he?
I am very concerned.
Vicus, I’ve seen a photo of Todd, he’s a cute boy, so you don’t have to worry.
Just be relieved that this ain’t a video of Herman eating what he excretes.
A few tortoisy questions:
1) Is having a pet tortoise anything like having other pets – do you have interaction with him, or is it like keeping fish – feed them and look at them, but don’t expect them to acknowledge your existance?
2) How big is Herman likely to grow? Will he be like one of those Galapagos ones that are almost large enough to ride on in 50 years, or will he stay little and live in his boot?
3) Herman seems to have some issues with eye-mouth coordination – is it my imagination, or does he “miss” the food rather a lot and have to re-aim to get a good chomp?
So satisfying to see them eat what you put before them.
God, that’s gripping. Why isn’t Hollywood cinema more like this? Maybe Tom Cruise could play the tortoise…….
Times must be exciting in Belgium.
This is rivetting stuff! Hollywood will be queueing up to avoid this!
Maybe Keith could play Herman!?
Vicus, I wish Todd was a tortoise. Seriously. I’d have made soup out of him by now.
GG, it’s a shame that I didn’t get that on video. Next time.
Sewmouse, torts are great fun and interesting to watch. They do acknowledge your existence and make some hilarious noises.
Herman should grow to the size of a dinner plate (I think), but I need to check that one up and yes, his eye-mouth co-ordination is somewhat lacking.
Pat, it makes me so happy too.
a, I like it
I had to google witlof.
Up close like that, Herman looks quite ferocious, with that wide gaping mouth lunging for his food. Could he be trained as an attack tortoise to protect the house?
Pink…. I don’t think so. He doesn’t have any teeth, you see.
No teef? He can borrow mine.
(for a small fee of course)
Keith, your gob is too big for my tortoise.
I dare you, Zoe.
On second thought…no no.
Zoe – Bitch!
Herman is so cute as he nibbles at the paper.
had fun this visit….you are a very funny lady!!
FFF x