"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

>That cupboard what I like.

>I mentioned my cupboards the other day and in particular one that I really like, although I shouldn’t. This cupboard has very little in it. The odd tin of something that expired about 5 or more years ago – things like that. Nothing tumbles out and attacks me, nothing starts growing in there, apart from, perhaps, within the tins, but I never find out as my daughters will throw out anything that is past it’s sell-by-date out. Even if it’s just a few hours.

So imagine my absolute and sheer horror when I looked in said cupboard earlier this evening and found the following packets. (Yes. Packets, sachets, whatever.)

1. AMOY Wok Express – Satay.
2. Some form of spice mix for Burritos.
3. 2 packets of vindaloo and cayenne seasoning mix.
4. 3 packets of raita seasoning mix.

It’s the last one that really gets me. Raita = cucumber and yoghurt for me. That’s all. No additional extras, it is supposed to accompany a hot curry and cool it down, or simply be a side-dish. Easy, cheap and lovely. People who know more about cooking than me may correct me, although it may be a risk to their life.

My entire ambition of trying to eat more healthily, involving more vegetables has gone to pot. A stir-fry from scratch which doesn’t take much longer than chucking in a bag of readily prepared ‘stir-fry veg’ is cheaper and tastier. A curry prepared from scratch is far, far better than all those bloody ready-made, chuck-in sauces. Yes, I’m angry. Yes, I am working longer hours than before. Yes I do work longer hours than the Twat.

And all I’m asking is for cheaper meals, tastier meals to suit my budget.

Christ, I needed that off my massive bosom.

Tomorrow is Friday. Time to clear out the garage – at last. Any dead bodies found in there are nothing to do with me.

48 Comments

  1. Posted Monday, April 6, 2009 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

    I don’t think of seasoning mixes as unhealthy, unless they contain exhorbitant amounts of salt. There are days when I feel like eating taco’s or enchiladas – but haven’t the cash or energy to go to the market to get the “real” fixings, so I use a seasoning packet on whatever is around and fool my brain into thinking it is eating enchiladas instead of leftovers + spices.
    I mean – why bother measuring all the spices myself when someone else can do it for me and get it right EVERY time?

  2. Posted Monday, April 6, 2009 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

    I don’t think of seasoning mixes as unhealthy, unless they contain exhorbitant amounts of salt. There are days when I feel like eating taco’s or enchiladas – but haven’t the cash or energy to go to the market to get the “real” fixings, so I use a seasoning packet on whatever is around and fool my brain into thinking it is eating enchiladas instead of leftovers + spices.
    I mean – why bother measuring all the spices myself when someone else can do it for me and get it right EVERY time?

  3. Posted Monday, April 6, 2009 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

    I don’t think of seasoning mixes as unhealthy, unless they contain exhorbitant amounts of salt. There are days when I feel like eating taco’s or enchiladas – but haven’t the cash or energy to go to the market to get the “real” fixings, so I use a seasoning packet on whatever is around and fool my brain into thinking it is eating enchiladas instead of leftovers + spices.
    I mean – why bother measuring all the spices myself when someone else can do it for me and get it right EVERY time?

  4. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  5. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  6. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  7. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  8. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  9. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  10. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  11. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  12. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    at least all your 5-year old packets and tins still have their labels on them. would be pretty interesting to have to open the package to make out what’s inside.

  13. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  14. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  15. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  16. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  17. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  18. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  19. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  20. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  21. Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Sewmouse, it’s the fact that I pay for them. If the Twat wants to go ahead and pay for them – so be it. The ‘healthy diet’ was supposed to cut down on all these ready-made (and more expensive) additions.
    philters, hello. I once had that problem when I lived in an appartment with my Ex all those moons ago. We came back from holiday (Yugoslavia, it was that long ago) to find that a mouse had used all the labels on the tins in the cupboard to make a sweet little nest.
    Meals were …. interesting for a while after that. (Tinned pineapple doesn’t go well with steak – if you wanted to know.)

  22. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  23. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  24. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  25. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  26. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  27. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  28. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  29. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  30. Anonymous
    Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Tinned pineapple goes very well with steak when prepared with a curry sauce

  31. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  32. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  33. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  34. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  35. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  36. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  37. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  38. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  39. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Hello Anonymous, still trying to have a dig?

  40. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  41. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  42. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  43. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  44. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  45. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  46. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  47. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚

  48. Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    You talk about cooking food…then dead bodies…you don’t WANT to know what I’m now thinking πŸ™‚