"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

>OH MY GOD – THE EC IS ON FIRE!

>Yes, well.

Yesterday’s excitement was silly really, I mean – oh, you didn’t hear?

THE EUROPEAN COMMISSION WAS ON FIRE.

Sort of. Sorta.

Well it was. There was smoke and any reputable paper will tell you all about it, complete with pictures. I rushed out to see if it was true and tripped over about a hundred fonctionnaires – quite an achievement, I think you’ll agree, while the Twat called VP Commissioner Margot Wallstrom’s Assistant to see if he and (more importantly, I think, knowing the way the Twat thinks), Margot, were out of the building.

“Eh, Quarsan? I can’t hear you properly as I think we are having a fire-drill.”
“No, you plonker, your fucking building is on fire.”
“Oh, is it? Better get out then.”

Such was the severity of yesterday’s fire. The thick, brown smoke made its way into our small office which happens to be below ground surface. And no, we do not work in a bunker, it’s just a temporary measure until next month. All I could see from looking at the sky were clouds of brown smoke, and there was a very sickly, sooty smell.

I told you that Brussels is exciting.

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