"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

>Todd N° 5,377 (and still going)

>Within two days of coming home last Friday, Todd had broken every single ‘rule’ that we had decided upon.

I knew they were too easy to break and Todd did a good job of breaking them. Quarsan and I agreed with the Ex and PHT to the following:

– He can only go out once a week
– He has to return by 11.30pm
– He has to tell us where he is going plus the telephone number
– He has to have credit on his GSM
– He has to return at 6/7 o’clock (evenings) during the week.

That was about it and I agreed to it knowing full well that Todd would break the first rule as soon as possible.

After his stunt in Italy, we agreed that he was not allowed out the following weekend – where he happened to be chez-moi. And glory be! He broke that rule, naturellement. The first night that he was here he insulted me like I’d never been insulted before, but sticks and stones and all that stuff … I was nevertheless completely mortified. The following morning he was even worse but I put up a brave front because, hey, sistahs, we have to stick up for ourselves. Shit, I didn’t even shout.

And then he disappeared “to his dad’s house”.

Two hours later I received a text from Todd saying that he was “shopping with his girlfriend and would be home at 4.30pm.” I put my foot down there as we had bought his lunch (which he knew about) and had said was going to be here for his sausage sarnies. Except he wasn’t. I texted him to come home straight away – and he did! Yes! Todd came home. But he’d already eaten, so forget it.

As he came through the front door, Tatiana and I were leaving to get the shopping in, so I left Todd in the ‘responsible’ hands of the Twat to mow the lawn. Apparently they got on fine and the job got done. Afterwards, Todd and the Twat had a chat which was fairly successful, apparently, apart from the fact that Todd was texting throughout the chat.

The next thing that I knew was that Todd was telling me that he could now go out, especially as his girlfriend had invited him out for supper. No guesses as to what happened after that other than he had a badly-needed shower and suddenly I heard the door slam. He left.

And didn’t come back until around 2pm on the Sunday. I was alone upstairs, the girls were downstairs, Q was out. I still didn’t raise my voice although I was curious as to where my son had spent the night. I know he lied saying that he walked around from here to there to here to there … this coming from a young man who has to sleep with his bedroom door open and preferably with the landing light on.

Todd is scared of the dark.

I still have no idea as to where he spent the night.

Todd then started pushing me about, hurting me more psychologically than physically, but nonetheless, I was scared. So I called his father who said that he wasn’t in Brussels.

“Well if you don’t get the fuck here before our son hurts me one more time, I’ll call the Police.”

His dad, looking exhausted from Todd’s behaviour, running around after him and all the rest, finally turned up. We had a long chat although I don’t think that he believed that I hadn’t shouted at Todd, and then he had a while alone with Todd. Then we all spoke together, finally joined by Q who had been out taking photos. I was surprised as Q came out with some sage words of advice mentioning to Todd that as he had broken every single rule that we had laid down, didn’t he think that maybe the problem was his?

Dead silence.

Q: “Why don’t you ever answer your GSM?”
“Because the battery’s dead.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, Quarsan, look.”

Todd threw his GSM at Quarsan who then went and confiscated it, as Q and I had agreed upon that morning.

This made Todd flip. He screamed at his dad saying that “that bullshitter wanted to look at my GSM and has then taken it from me. HE HAS STOLEN MY GSM – THE BULLSHITTER!”

Todd then disappeared again and we talked about what we should do. Todd had told his father that he was going to stay at his mamy’s. His Mamy didn’t know about this, and considering that she is in her 70s and her husband is in his 80s, it would really be unfair to let Todd have his way. The Ex left saying that he’d contact us when he knew what on earth was happening – none of us knew.

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End of long story:

I ended up crying my heart out – Todd is to spend the next 6+ weeks with his father.

I feel like that I have failed as a mother. [Blokes, if you don’t get that, I understand – you’re male. We women are difficult to please/understand/know. Nothing worth worrying about, but a shoulder of comfort works wonders – and always agree with us.]

I so agree with Bedblogger and all the other commenters who were along the same line as her. The trouble is, Todd’s dad is far too lenient.

They say that it’s cruel to be kind. I agree.

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