"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Monthly Archives: June 2009

>Rattling to yers.

>“What would you like for supper, Hon?”
“Healthy food.”
“Can you be a little more precise?”
“Healthy food. And I’ll make a ratatouille.”
“What do I need for that?”
“Aubergines, courgettes, onions, loads of tomatoes, garlic, peppers and herbs. Preferably basil.”

After pottering around in the garden yesterday I decided to make my ratatouille in advance. There were four tomatoes, four aubergines, two courgettes and garlic. So I made do with what I had, read a bit and then watched some TV.

The Twat came home and went straight outside to spend an hour with his shisha pipe, then went on the computer and then told me that he was going out to the European Parliament for the evening.

It’s funny how easy it is to slip back into that routine of living on your own, which is what I seem to be doing more and more often these days, although I hate eating alone and can see that this won’t last long.

I’ll stop eating altogether, just like before.

Ho hum.

>Done and dusted.

>I pottered along to the nearby school where the voting for this commune takes place every two years and duly voted in my normal fashion. As newcomers may not be aware seeing as the Twat has really driven most of my regular readers away thanks to his ongoing babble about the European Elections and even made me bored of my own blog, I don’t ‘do’ politics. Or religion. Still, beggars can’t be choosers, so thanks, Quarsan, for stepping in when you do. I would like you to carry on with the inane ramblings of my life, afterall, this is all about me, me, me.

Now that’s cleared up I can carry on with the ever so boring topic of me and voting.

Strangely enough, I didn’t see anybody that I knew, which is very unusual. But I saw an awful lot of faces that I knew of but couldn’t place. Some were faces that I see in the tram quite often, others…. well, I had no idea. The man that looks like Minty from Eastenders – does he work in the supermarket? Or is he a regular at the local pub? Every face meant ‘something’ to me, but who on earth these people were was beyond me. The worst is when it happens to be a parent of one of Todd’s friends. I don’t mean to look straight through them, but with age goes memory and I wished the queue to vote wasn’t so long.

Once in the booth it was the usual. Stick in the card, take out the pen thing, choose the language, choose écolo (Greenies), close my eyes and put the pen against someone’s name. It’s as simple as that really, although I do wish I could follow Belgian politics. Or any politics, for that matter. It’s not as if I don’t read the papers – I do. But it’s all very complicated to me, and besides, this country runs equally well – if not better, without a government so I really don’t know why voting is still obligatory. Probably to keep the Vlaams Blok away.

After that, as I was pottering around the garden the girls passed by after having voted for the first time. As their birthday is at the end of June they just missed having to vote last time, but they asked if I’d been, and had I voted Green and who for? The last question was difficult to reply to as I have no recollection of the name of the candidate that I voted for. Still, he was in the Green Party and that’s good enough.

I think the Greens will do well. My working environment is very ‘green’ in the way that they eat, think and travel. There are more and more restaurants opening that have a very ‘green attitude’. Even my hairdresser uses organic hair dye.

But I don’t fancy having to live the entire green way.

There are only so many recycled goods that I will use.

>Election Fever

>

Well, the parliament is gearing up for the Sunday night results, which means that they’re getting ready for a lot of media. There’s going to be broacasts and various political groups holding meetings etc, so I’ll be kept busy, if not entertained.

Tomorrow afternoon we get to see how stuffed Brown is. It’s a Shakespearian tragedy, after plotting for the throne so long he botches it. I was on Radio Cumbria with some journalist friends of mine and we had a good discussion, so at least we’ve entertained some sheep.

In other news, I got given a bottle of the finest Greek olive oil and we’re looking forward to sampling it.

I spent this morning at a meeting on the failed Commission attempt to get lobbyists to sign up to a register, but there’s not a lot happening at the moment and there doesn’t seem to be the political will to do anything. We’re all waiting for the next commission, which may not be in place till October, depending on the Irish vote.

Right, off to cook.

>The EU Election Press Pack

>

Oh what a delight, what can only be described as a flimsy blue pillowcase with handles is found to contain the following:

Six little metal badges
Four postcards
Two pens
One thin notepad.

Hardly goodie bag of the century. We also got a folder witharound 70 doubled sided pages of euro-guff. Expect to see almost everything you read on the elections to be cribbed from this. There’s also shed loads of equiptment being set up all over the parliament to cover this most important of days, when we finally get rid of Kilroy.

Anyway, back to the press pack, the first section in on background information, where they show that fewer people are voting. Anyway, here’s something interesting, you’re actually voting for 73 MEP’s in Blighty, but only 72 will take their seats, the other will only get theirs if/when Lisbon is agreed to.

Until then, this most fortunate of MEP’s joins another 17 ‘phantom’ MEP’s who will have full pay and perks, but won’t have to do a stroke of work, for a year or so.

The Tories are pulling out of the EPP as Cameron has done a deal with the right wing of his party – they can have euroscepticism if he can have a more centrist party in the UK. Needless to say it’s not going down well with his MEP’s who prefer being in a block of pro-Europe conservatives than a block with anti semites and homophobes. Plenty of scope for scandal in the days ahead, “So, cuddly Cameron, why do you prefer anti-semites to your EPP friends?”

There’s a desperate attempt to spin up the turnout – they EU spent 18 million euros to boost turnout. The best they can manage is a EC financed project saying levels will be the same as the last election. smarter pollsters are not commenting.

A side note is that 1/3 of EU staff are translators or interpreters.

>Posting may be sporadic…

>And therefore I’m handing over my blog to Quarsan again, until something pops into my head that is vaguely of interest.

I feel like I’m up Shit Creek Without A Paddle at the moment.

I think I’ll busy myself with my lawyers.

(Which is an entirely different matter – but will keep me busy.)

I’ll be back, to quote the great Arno.

>Help – Lost a tortoise!

>It’s a holiday for us today – Whit Monday, I think it’s called in English, and the good weather is still with us. I decided to come in after having lost Herman for about 5 minutes which seemed like a life-time. Tatiana broke away from her studying and joined me scuffling around the garden, terrified that we may accidentally squash him. I finally found the little shell speeding along the side of the house towards the front. If the Twat doesn’t make his run soon I am going to get very, very angry.

I mean it.

Other little bits of trivia:

We moved office last week. There’s the odd glitch here and there that needs to be taken care of, but at least the phones won’t be ringing for a while to come… Instead, I’ll be unpacking my boxes and about 1000 files. This time I aim to do it without buggering up my back – I was in agony last Thursday.

My new niece finally has a name as I think calling her ‘Baby Girl’ was a bit odd. That and there is some time limit on registering a newborn. She’s called Milly, short for Emily and to be honest, I think that my brother is mixing her up with one of his cats. I like the name though.

Exams start this week and so the girls are trying to schedule their driving test around them, noone is going on holiday apart from Todd along with his dad and step-mum.

Oh, and the Twat has found a leak in the pond. I’m not quite sure what to do.

Btw, does anyone have any tips for getting the back of my legs brown? I can’t read when lying on my stomach, standing gives me backache and my only solution so far has been to walk around the garden with my back to the sun.

I really feel stupid.