>Actually, apart from a bad bout of backache, the impending end of my contract, a headache that won’t shift despite the numerous different types of painkiller that I’ve taken, my life isn’t all that bad. Even That Rabbit in the living-room is bearable apart from when it tries to chew through the TV cables, although living with a twat does put pressure on my life.
Maybe you’ve heard about the popular website, FMyLife which has been turned into a book that makes fantastic toilet-reading, although not as great as mine, naturally, and is only available via moi, signed and everything.
“F My Life: It’s Funny, It’s True, Except When it Happens to You” is exactly what it says on the label and you can read excerpts of other people’s fuck-ups that will make your day seem relatively smooth-going. And what’s more, I have 2 copies to give away for FREE.
Yes, no money is involved AT ALL.
Oh. I have to pay for the postage. FML.
Does anybody want a copy?
Well, only 2 people can get a free copy from me, unfortunately not signed by the author – but it’s FREE.
How?
Have a look at the website and the 2 people who can come up with the funniest TRUE FML situations (witnesses are helpful, especially if Scaryduck tries to get a copy) should leave their comments here. Multiple situations are allowed if you happen to lead such an unlucky life.
And the winners will be announced on 1 August (this Saturday).
Or maybe next Monday.
19 Comments
But nowt to say. Such things don’t seem to happen to me. Or if they do I don’t recognise them!
I wouldn’t know where to start! lol.
Sounds all good to me, tho. have fun with it, ma’am
I never have things like that happen to me, so thought I had no chance…then I got onto my Facebook page, to see an entry from my friend Michelle. FYI – H is her son, 11 years old and has a developmental delay. 000 is our emergency number. So this would be more a case of F Her life…
H dialled 000 tonight. Told them Michael Jackson had died.! And 3 policemen turned up on our doorstep just to check it wasn’t another person of the same name… ! True Story!
Today my children are going on holiday with my ex husband and my ex husband’s new girlfriend who happens to be the ex wife of my (now psycho) boyfriend Lx
Does a large tree falling on my car count?
Just look at an post on blog :p
(which might be coming back soon by the way)
- Stuck in a lift for four hours
- Had my eye lashes dyed black
- Mistook tourists for prostitutes (no I was not after their services)
And the latest:
- Ended up bleeding in a police station at 1 in the morning after an attempt to make a sandwich went horribly wrong.
I have 28 indoor cats. I win.
My friend Manic should be a contender
http://anothermanicstreetpreacher.blogspot.com/
http://anothermanicstreetpreacher.blogspot.com/
Bugger blogger!
I can vouch for the authenticity of John Gs experience with a tree falling on his car and squashing him. It made a right mess of the car!
He should be dead by all accounts, (some people wish he was sometimes! joke, don’t shoot!) but he made a remarkable recovery and he deserves a medal for going through all the surgery and pain on his way to recovery. He will now spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
Without his jokes and cheerfulness the “Merrie Monk” would become the “Miserable Monk”.
Give him a book! Then I can borrow it!
I don’t suppose cutting my throat twice as a child (aged about 4 and six respectively) count, or do they? (Once playing cowboys and native Americans, the other riding a tricycle in a decidedly un-health-and-safety-conscious way around a cul-de-sac).
Or being abandoned in my pram by a freaked out mother (who passed away yesterday, aged 86 – see my blog) surrounded by a herd (collective noun?) of squealing piglets at a farm near our house?
Or walking uninjured from my car, which I’d just piloted through a lamp-post, a wall and then rolled over? Without a seat belt (it was a LONG time ago…)
This takes me to age 18. I’m 55 now – should I go on?
Face-planting myself twice in the same day on the streets of Amsterdam, before I’d even had a drink?
Sorry, don’t want it, your book is much funnier
Thanks Keith! What are you after?
John – After nothing, just out of goodwill; mind you, a whisky would be nice . . . .
Today my baby daddy showed up with my child..AND a mutual friend who teaches her 5 year old sister stripper moves. FML.
I live in a po’-ass country that ain’t going nowhere in a hurry…
Popped back to see if Johng had won a book but it looks as though you’re deferring the decision till tomorrow. Hope all the aches and pains are better.
I’ve never heard of that website. It sounds like the “vie de merde” website. Wonder which one came first?
Hmm.
Hey. where did my comment go?
And the fmylife.com site? Can’t get to it from this computer. Something about it being too profanic.
Bugger.