"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

>I think I must be edible.

>That Rabbit is still with us, occasionally fed by Coralie and whose cage is only changed when I realise that the poor animal is living in more rabbit poo than wood shavings. When That Rabbit was delivered here I was told that ‘Pan-pan’ was totally house-trained.

“Yes, mama, you know, the rabbit in Bambi.”
“No – I’ve still not seen Bambi. Don’t they all die? The prospects are good for That Rabbit spending a few weeks here then.”
“No, mama, only Bambi. You know, Pan-pan, because he always taps his foot.”
“That would be Thumper in English,”
intervened the Twat knowingly. I gave him a strange look. His wisdom knows no bounds.
“So how long is Thumper here, Coralie?”
“Oh you know, till the end of the summer.”
“The end of July?”
“No, mama, August – but don’t worry, I’ll feed Pan-pan and clean out his cage.”

Famous last words.

Thumper, as I have taken to calling That Rabbit, likes to run around the living room and as warned, does like to eat paper. He has also taken to nibbling the wires behind the TV so I have to keep an eye on him. But he is still alive.

Hermie has had a good week, enjoying the sun and hot weather. Yesterday was a bit of a stinker though and the Twat tried to get him to go into his shed where it was dry but Hermie just sat in his welly near the entrance of his shed looking outside before coming out again to hide in the dead lavender.

Herman’s bath is now lined with grit after I saw him fall into it after quite a bit of rain, his head under water and his arms and legs flailing about as his pathetic attempt at backstroke got him nowhere but had me rushing to save him. The girls still have the little stones that lined their fish tank and Coralie gave me a bag so that Hermie can now get in and out of his bath easily, much to my relief. On Saturday, I put Hermie in his bath but he appears to be rather nervous of it now and wanted to get out straight away. I stroked the edges of the bath to try and show the tortoise that I was there for him and he started nipping my fingers. I grabbed some lettuce and fed him by hand which kept Hermie in the bath.

It’s a bit like giving a child bath toys so that they don’t get bored.

I’ve just had Thumper running around the living room and when he was back in his cage, went to stroke him. The bloody animal bit me.

Neither animals are carnivores but they do like my fingers.


  1. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 8:57 am | Permalink

    I love rabbits, I think they are delicious in a casserole with a few onions and zuchinis. Never tried tortoise though. What do you have with that?

  2. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    Maybe your fingers look like giant animal food or something? heh heh

  3. z
    Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 10:10 am | Permalink

    You want to watch out putting your hand near a rabbit. I’ve still got a scarred hand from when my children’s rabbit (spookily enough, also called Thumber) bit me when I was feeding it some 25 years ago. There’s one scar where it dug in its bottom teeth and another one nearly 2 cm long where it scraped the top teeth down. Wretched animal lived for years.

  4. a
    Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 10:14 am | Permalink

    You have a rabbit and a tortoise? Time to test Zeno’s Paradox. Aesop is looking on……..

  5. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 11:05 am | Permalink

    It’s just tough love.

  6. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 11:31 am | Permalink

    a, the rabbit is temporary, the tortoise isn’t.

  7. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

    Cook them both!

  8. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    C’mon then; spill the beans! Who is getting the free books then?

  9. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 4:35 pm | Permalink

    Keith, I have a problem. Can’t update my bloody CV without all these funny lines and boxes appearing. That will teach me to let someone else fiddle with my CV.

  10. Posted Monday, August 3, 2009 at 7:35 pm | Permalink

    Pets are even more trouble than kids ….. quite frankly, they should all be banned until they are about 30 [kids] or in ‘clog popping’ mode [pets] …..

  11. Posted Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 12:14 am | Permalink

    Sorry, can’t help without seeing whats happening to your CV. Have you done it in “Word”? If so, what you are probably seeing is the “text boxes”. If you click on the actual border they will disappear and just show the text. If you print the document the text boxes wont show up anyway.
    If you are really stuck then you can download CV templates for Word here and rewrite your CV.

  12. whozat?
    Posted Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 12:45 am | Permalink

    It’s obvious – you have green fingers

  13. Posted Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 6:23 am | Permalink

    Keith – ta for that. But what about the boxes that keep popping up each time I add something? I hate Word and Word hates me.
    whozat – very funny.

  14. Posted Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 7:03 am | Permalink

    Have That Rabbit and Herman met yet? Neither one has fingers that the other could nibble, but they might still like each other.

  15. Posted Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 7:34 pm | Permalink

    That Rabbit must be an escapee, one of the bad rabbits from Watership Down.