"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

>That Rabbit.

>That horrible little creature has finally gone after 2 1/2 months of chewing my TV cables, eating my furniture and any paper that it could find. It also had a tendency to eat it’s cage very noisily and when it wasn’t being pampered would go ballistic and run around as if there was no tomorrow.

To be honest, keeping a rabbit in a cage in a small apartment is cruel. If I should ever own a bunny again it would spend the summer months outside in a long run, but I don’t have a very good history with rabbits, apart from Pan-pan, or Thumper, as I called it – or Muffin, as Todd called it. I have three buried behind my pond – one belonged to my neighbours but I offered my little pet cemetery as a place to put their long-eared one to rest, which they did. Other pets in our little cemetery are a hamster, a newt and a hedgehog, although you can’t really call the last two pets. They’re animals of which I am particularly fond.

So Thumper was picked up by Coralie driving her Mamy’s car. Alone. She had no idea as to how to get to her friend’s place, but given some rough directions by me she managed to get there without damaging the car, herself or scaring the living daylights out of Thumper. He is now back in his tiny apartment, let loose to run around whenever he wants. I’m surprised that the animal survived the verbal abuse and hissing but it shall make him grow into a stronger bunny, I’m sure.

I now want some money for having fed the horrible thing – and for having put up with it. Coralie’s friend has no idea how lucky she is to have Thumper home.