Can you get counselling at all?

i do plan to come out and tell everyone. but i dont know when and how. there are so many lives associated around him , which will all shatter. Indian family system is so weird.

Apparently Todd had a pretty restless week but stayed at home last night with his dad instead of going out with his friends.

More seriously… there are few males who make it through their teens without some advance from an older male. And the good news is they learn to deal with it, just like their sisters have to.

We even have the term: “Dirty Old Man” exactly for that. (This comment comes from a very Clean old man.)

No, sir, I am NOT interested in a brief extramarital daliance with you. And yes, I am fairly certain I will survive without the honour. How IS your wife, by the way?

Good for Tod. He’s a got a good head on his shoulders for a 16-year old. 50 to 16 is SUCH a creepy age gap. Ugh.

Tony was shocked when Todd told him the news as he has known the man for years.

It goes to show – who do you really know?

You say this predatory gay man is a friend of your friend. Someone, somewhere, isn’t coming very clean with the truth! Oh, and the moment someone in showbiz starts to offer dancing work to a teenager, let every alarm bell you’ve got start to ring, camper van or no camper van.

Angel, this story should be in Hello Magazine. You would get a thousand quid no bother.

Nobody’s immune to being on the receiving end of an unwanted pass. The difference is in how you handle it.

However, it seems this incident made Todd uncomfortable. Maybe he needs to be reminded that a) he shouldn’t accept drinks from strangers; b) the bartender/barmaid can be an ally because they don’t want trouble in their establishment; and c) when something like this happens, it can’t hurt to call a cab or call a friend for a ride home. Oh, and d) it can help to raise your voice loud enough for others to hear you, while saying something like “What about your wife? Will she be playing, too?”

Our society’s powerful lust for the young and nubile isn’t new. And it’s not always lovely.

And who knows what the nature of his ‘happy’ marriage is? It may be that he and his wife are agreed that partners external to the relationship are fine for them, and that makes a marriage for them. It’s not what I would do; but it is what some others might be fine with.

Nonetheless, I applaud your concern as a parent, and the fact that your son confided in you and spoke with you about it openly speaks volumes about your involvement in his life and your relationship with him. I think that’s beautiful; wish I’d had that in a mum.

But your last paragraph sums it all up: as a parent, I feel that I should have done more, but realistically speaking, I couldn’t have. Todd did well, the person has been notified to the authorities but if it goes any further – only time will tell. It isn’t ‘normal’ for a 50-60 year-old man to go after a 16 year-old of the same sex when happily married.

I don’t know. Maybe it is – lust is a horrible emotion.

As others have said, You’ve done a fine job, Todd came to you, confided in you all good. Dare I say, all looking normal.

I certainly understand, you as a parent, feeling that this older man coming onto your young’un is offensive.

On the other hand, here in Texas, if Todd were 17 years of age, he’d be legal to do whatever he wishes with the guy sexually, and there would be no repercussions, because he would be considered capable of giving that consent freely.

Which wouldn’t make the guy who made the pass a perv or a perpetrator — just a man who found a much younger man attractive, made a pass, and was turned down.

I do, however, grok the protective feeling you have on the issue. And if Todd is not of an age considered legal to consent, then yes, by all means get the authorities involved. Interesting what difference perhaps a year makes.