"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

This isn’t funny anymore.

I love snow, I really do, and the first time that it snowed this winter, back in December, made a picturesque little scene.  And then it all died, the earth was soggy and people started backing onto my front lawn.  Then it snowed again later in December, carefully avoiding any chances of a white christmas and this time, quite a lot fell, enough to screw up the trams until midday that Sunday morning.

And then that all died too.

About two weeks ago we woke up to yet more snow, although it was a pitiful amount yet very slippery.  And this morning, we have yet another coating of snow, the fourth time this winter, and this simply doesn’t happen in Belgium.  It’s either once or never.  It’s a bit of a pathetic fall but it doesn’t look like it’s finished yet, and what’s worse is the fact that it’s freezing outside.

But it’s all my fault.

Yesterday, when standing against the sink trying to find out where I was getting stains from the spag bol sauce I checked to see if my snow drops were pushing through, and sure enough, there were hundreds of little stems under my hedge.  So I thought to myself “snow drops look so pretty when there’s snow on the ground.”

And now there is.  Please don’t hate me Belgium, although I suspect you already do.  Tatiana obviously does as she found my box of All Bran hidden away in the garage, so I couldn’t deny her a hearty breakfast full of good, solid fibre to get her bowels functioning.  Dammit.

Just look at the snow and think how pretty it is, what a wonderful excuse not to go into work by car today – public transport is great.  But please don’t hate me – at least not too much.

And I promise not to talk to my plants again.


  1. Posted Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 9:41 am | Permalink

    My snow drops are out too – all two of them. Please don’t send the snow here.

    What is it about Spag bol sauce? There is always that little splash just where it will show and not wash out. I use washing up liquid to get it out.

    I hide my All Bran too.

  2. Posted Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 10:15 am | Permalink

    You know when flowers look pretty? In the blazing sun!

    Ponder that the next time your washing the dishes. Or I’ll report you to the Met Service Squad.

  3. Posted Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 10:18 am | Permalink

    What a busy post – so many issues. Not often you get angst about snow, spag bol, All Bran(tm) and child’s bowels all at once.

    I deal with snow by hating it – I’m not fooled by its superficial prettiness. It only lasts a short time, and when the facade fades, it’s just unremitting shite.

    Stop hiding the All Bran(tm). Just buy shed loads of it (the The Twat can have his shed too).

    Can’t help with spag bol stains or child’s bowels, I’m afraid.

  4. Posted Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 10:18 am | Permalink

    Well your snow has reached us too – just to add to your guilt!

  5. Posted Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 10:23 am | Permalink

    We just had a mini-blizzard and now the sun is shining – I’m beginning to think the weather is bi-polar …..

  6. Posted Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

    Global warming!

  7. Posted Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 5:25 pm | Permalink

    oh, the power. holland’s under the bleeding white blanket too (again, for the umpth time this winter.) not funny any longer. stop it. now.

  8. Anonymous, too
    Posted Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 3:29 am | Permalink

    Belgian AllBran must be very different from the kind sold stateside. It must have some sort of flavor to it, rather than tasting like old sawdust.

  9. Posted Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 6:56 am | Permalink

    Zoe please say snow would look nice in Rowley west mids UK, I want snow to play in

  10. Posted Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 8:17 am | Permalink

    Anon, too – now, it tastes like wood chippings here too. Kellogs is Kellogs afterall.

    lom, where is Rowley? Approximately?

  11. Posted Friday, February 12, 2010 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    Rowley regis is in the Black country between Oldbury and Blackheath, here is a little background

    And thank you in advance for the snow I know you will send.