"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

It doesn’t help, you Third World Country.

Belgium seems to think that it will help this commune by cutting down on our gas and electricity bills.  Naturally, in order to do this, works have to be undertaken.  In order to undertake these works, our gas and electricity supplies have to be cut off.

It’s all very well telling us about this in advance; in fact, how very civilised of the commune.  But when you suddenly realise that there will be no gas or electricity from 7.30am – 4.00pm,  first thing in the morning by which time, if you are unemployed, it is too late as you suddenly realise that oh shit, that piece of paper on the kitchen table did warn me about this and I am now going to have to wait until this power-cut is over for my first cup of tea today and fuck the shower – I’m not exactly going anywhere.

There again, if, like the Twat, you are employed, I forgot to tell him as he usually has several cups of coffee and a shower well before that time.  Except this morning.  My bad there.  So seeing as the house was freezing again I decided to read a book in bed until the leccy came back on again, which it did, earlier than expected.  (I should thank the workers for that but I think it may be because the ground is frozen, therefore I expect several more power-cuts in the very near future.)

And talking about ‘cuts’ in bills, I was overjoyed to receive a letter entirely in Flemish which, when re-typed into Google Translation meant nothing more than a reduction in my house tax bill for the princely sum of €140.  Still, it’s better than a poke in the eye, I suppose.

And just as I was coming up here I realised that my water softener was making a very strange gurgling noise and that there was a red light on.  Knowing that my neighbours have the same water softener I braved the cold and pressed their stupid doorbell that plays ‘Green sleeves’ which sounds incredibly out of tune and moronic on the best of days – yet they never answer their door.  I have no idea why as I get on very well with them – but they are so anti-social.  So for all I know, my water softener is still making a strange noise down in the garage.

Just for that I feel like letting the Twat have his shisha pipe back to smoke at the end of the garden – but it wasn’t just them that he annoyed with that damn pipe – it was the entire road.

I’m always the last to know.