My life nearly ended last night when I realised that I couldn’t connect to the internet. Far little is worse than this sort of nightmare, but even the Twat couldn’t get it working again. What on earth does one do in such situations? Read? Watch TV? Feeling very put out, I did the latter and watched Eastenders. Ten minutes towards the end the Twat said that he didn’t know why I was so miserable – apart from the fact that I was watching Eastenders – as he’d fixed the internet what I’d broke.
He didn’t tell me he’d fixed it straight away as he appeared to enjoy watching me wallow in my own sorrow, knowing that my mate Dave was simply dying to talk to me. When I told the Twat that he was in stitches. “He wants to talk to you? I can’t get you to shut up.” Lovely. What was even lovelier was the fact that I now had a technician coming around at 8 in the morning and couldn’t cancel it.
I was up at dawn this morning so as to be ready for the technician. 8am arrived. So did 8.15am. So did 8.30am by which time I’d had enough and decided to risk jumping in the shower. Just as I was rinsing out the shampoo I heard my mobile ring so jumped out, detected where my phone was as I wasn’t, for many reasons, wearing my glasses, and after much fumbling with wet, slippery hands, answered the call – too late. Bugger. I finished my shower and just as I wrapped my towel around me, the doorbell went.
My hair was wrapped in a smaller towel and I’d just applied two blobs of moisturiser on my cheeks so had no other option other than to go downstairs barely dressed and looking like a clown. The technician barely flinched when I open the door.
He barely flinched – I was almost naked and he barely flinched.
I think I will have to make a complaint about that as he could have at least remarked on my incredible legs or massive bosom. But no.
He fiddled around with his notepad and concluded that my modem crashed for a while last night, something that even I could have told him. Miffed that he didn’t remark on my extraordinarily superb body I was glad to see the back of him.
I then realised that I still had 2 blobs of moisturiser on my cheeks.
15 Comments
Which cheeks was the moisturiser on? That might have had something to do with the flinch factor.
Also, have you considered the possibility that the technician is gay? This would almost certainly explain his lack of apparent interest in your gorgeous, gorgeous bod.
Please submit this piece again, with the requisite number of double entendres.
How old was he? Could you have reminded him of his mum?
Photos, or it never happened.
No eyes or anything else bulging!!!?!! Probably gay ……
Cable tech? They’ve seen it all, so no wonder he didn’t flinch.
Perhaps an accompanying photo would emphasise the techie’s folly
Either he was gay and a bad actor (which is hard to believe), or straight but stupid. Why? Because a smart straight guy would have offered to help rub in the moisturizer….;-)!
Maybe that happens to him every day
and i’m sure they looked lovely.
how’yr doin’ zoe? long time, no e. i’ve been out of it too long, for all sorts of reasons; will catch up with you properly shortly.
He was flinching on the inside, keeping it all in, being polite.
What a cheek! I mean the technician not you. Call him to come back and maybe this time …try wearing just the moisturiser?
Literally, what the F are you chattin’? I read this and I barely flinched.
Join the club! I’m constantly being bounced off line as viz this morning. Having stuff done on Wednesday by Tim and will be showered and dressed before his arrival at 2pm:)
I’ve come to realize the cable technicians and public utilities people have literally seen everything. As have trash collectors, mail carriers, couriers, and of course the milk man.
But yes, which cheeks?