"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Not a clever thing to do.

I gazed sadly at my jungle of a garden yesterday and decided that nobody is going to mow it, so I’ll have to. I heaved out the useless lawn mower that I have that has a mind of its own and tackled the front bit. Not bad and my back was doing pretty well so I carried on down the side of the house until I finally gave up once I’d reached the back garden. My back was beginning to hate my lawn mower as much as I do, so I scraped up the leaves and the remains of last years vine and got rid of them while very carefully walking past the pile of leaves in front of the garage. Doh.

I then spent about an hour unwinding the extension lead and rolling it up decently for the next time – next time? am I mad? – and saw that I’d mowed about 1/3 of the garden. It looks better from the front of the house though. I then sat in the sun for an hour or so smelling like a pig and then slowly turning the same shade as one.

That was quite an active day.

For a pig.