"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Spring is definitely in the air.

The hedges are looking slightly greener, there are wild flowers growing under my hedge adding a hint of colour to the garden and the lovely early sound of lawns being mowed can be heard. I even sat outside the other day.

So why is the weather so miserable now? The heating is normally turned off by this time of the year, but the house would be far too cold were I to turn it off completely. I put Herman in his outdoor pen yesterday and he didn’t move all day. When I brought him in and put him under his lamp he still didn’t move, apart from the odd twitch verifying that he was, in fact, still alive. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it snowed again, but then, that would be a tad extreme.

My spider bite was healing well until I accidentally knocked the scab off after my shower this morning. I am back to looking like some hag with the bubonic plague which, I’ll have you know, is the New Black.

Tatiana kindly took me shopping on Tuesday as she has her dad’s car while he is in Costa Rica, but I really feel that she should be helping me a bit more. How can she expect her mother to go out shopping in this drizzle? My hair will end up as one, massive frizz.

And that reminds me, does anybody have a decent, functioning lawnmower that I can buy second-hand? Just let me know and I’ll give you a time to deliver it. I can pay in euros, shillings or newts.

I can see daisies, you see.