"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke


Yesterday I had a cat-nap seeing as there was sweet FA to do and woke up with a huge bite on my upper lip. I am now looking for the tarantula that bit me so that I can bite it back.

This morning I asked the Twat how bad it looked due to all the virtual interviews I have lined up this coming week. He took a look.

“Well, you could always wear a burqa.”
“No, I am serious. I can’t go to a fucking interview with that on my lip.”
“It’s not that that I would worry about – it’s the rest of your face.”