"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

TQOTD

Yesterday I had a cat-nap seeing as there was sweet FA to do and woke up with a huge bite on my upper lip. I am now looking for the tarantula that bit me so that I can bite it back.

This morning I asked the Twat how bad it looked due to all the virtual interviews I have lined up this coming week. He took a look.

“Well, you could always wear a burqa.”
“No, I am serious. I can’t go to a fucking interview with that on my lip.”
“It’s not that that I would worry about – it’s the rest of your face.”

Never.Ask.Him.For.Advice.Again.

Evah.

This entry was written by Zoe, posted on Monday, April 5, 2010 at 8:32 am, and filed under Belgium and tagged , , .

10 Comments

  1. Daddy Papersurfer
    Posted Monday, April 5, 2010 at 9:16 am | Permalink

    Berk ………

  2. Keith
    Posted Monday, April 5, 2010 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    Has the Twat ever sworn “to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” in court? He has? Then tell him that it didn’t mean for life! He can now lie and tell you that even with a swollen lip, you are still beautiful.

    Er. . . that didn’t come out right did it? I’m off t’pub. . .

  3. Anji
    Posted Monday, April 5, 2010 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    He’s been sleeping in the knife drawer that one. Could it be a mozzie bite?

  4. gary rith
    Posted Monday, April 5, 2010 at 12:32 pm | Permalink

    There is a reason they call him THE TWAT.

  5. johng
    Posted Monday, April 5, 2010 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

    LMFAO!

  6. Anonymous, too
    Posted Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 5:01 am | Permalink

    Mme. Z., best wishes for a speedy recovery from that trauma on your lip. And from the one you live with.

  7. InvaderStu
    Posted Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

    It’s so good that you have your own personal motivator

  8. Minx
    Posted Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 5:23 pm | Permalink

    What is your blog called, again?

  9. guyana gyal
    Posted Thursday, April 8, 2010 at 5:19 pm | Permalink

    How do you know for sure it’s a spider bite and not foul play by you know who…

    :-)

  10. Amy
    Posted Sunday, April 18, 2010 at 7:48 pm | Permalink

    Has the Twat ever sworn “to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” in court? He has? Then tell him that it didn’t mean for life! He can now lie and tell you that even with a swollen lip, you are still beautiful.

    Er. . . that didn’t come out right did it? I’m off t’pub. . .