June – 2010 – My Boyfriend Is A Twat

Monthly Archives: June 2010

TQOTD

Sunday, June 27, 2010 – 12:02 pm

“I’m still not talking to you, you know.”
“Warn me next time – I hadn’t noticed you’d stopped, Zoe.

Pffffffffffft.

By Zoe | Posted in Belgium | Tagged TQOTD | Comments (7)

That was definitely a year to remember. I waddled around like a beached up whale, ate extremely healthy, exercised a lot and generally felt good about myself as I was due to give birth on 24 June. All I knew was that I wasn’t expecting just the one baby, but two, but had no idea whether I was to give birth to a boy and girl, two boys or two girls. Simply because I didn’t want to.

And so my partner and I had four names ready and after a lot of huffing and puffing and three hard pushes, I gave birth to a girl who was called Coralie. I loved holding my newborn child so much that my gynaecologist had to remind me that I still had another baby inside me so could I hand Coralie over to her father and get pushing again?

With one single push I gave birth to another girl – Tatiana. Both of my babies were covered in mucus and looked pretty revolting in all honesty, but they were mine, had been a part of me for nine months so naturally I thought they were beautiful.

And all this happened 21 years ago.

Happy birthday, Coralie and Tatiana!

xxx

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By Zoe | Posted in Belgium | Tagged birthday, Coralie, Tatiana | Comments (7)

Tesco TVs are very sturdy.

Friday, June 18, 2010 – 10:16 am

I’ve often been known as vaguely clumsy but yesterday was quite impressive. Previously, I’ve backed into occupied phone boxes, startling the person inside, locked myself out of my house on several occasions, fallen over a snowman flat on my face, ran full pelt into a glass door and so on.

Yesterday was just another incident to add to my list. As I came back to watch one of the World Cup matches after half-time I went to close the door and on moving towards the sofa, somehow managed to trip over my feet, fall flat on my arse and knock the cabinet on which the TV was on.

Now I wouldn’t say that my feet are big – they are fairly normal, but when my back hit the cabinet the following sound wasn’t good as I slowly heard the TV make a slow dive off it. Horrified as to the events that were slowly unfolding behind me I simply sat there, eyes tightly shut.

My friend came over and pulled up the TV and simply said “Zoe, it’s still working – look”. I slowly turned around and fair enough, the match was still going on.

Still mortified, I sat down and watched the rest of the match, but if you want a reliable and tough TV, go to Tesco.

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By Zoe | Posted in Belgium | Tagged clumsiness, World Cup | Comments (16)

TQOTD

Monday, June 14, 2010 – 9:57 am

“Zoe, you do realise that I’m lying on my good ear so that every time you say something I have to lift my head up?”
“I’ll just start shouting at you then.”
“Actually, I’d like you to shut up altogether.”

Some men.

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By Zoe | Posted in Belgium | Tagged TQOTD | Comments (9)

A job!

Thursday, June 10, 2010 – 5:38 pm

No, not me, Coralie.

Coralie applied at a hotel for a summer job as a receptionist and they not only gave her a summer job, but a full contract which only goes to show how valid a stage is when studying for a degree. Not only does she have the experience, but she also speaks four languages. However, as Coralie failed a few exams earlier this year she will have to re-take them at the end of August and so will need that month to study. She told the hotel this and they said that it was of no problem whatsoever and that they would employ her for July and if she passes her exams Coralie is very welcome to go back as a full-time employee.

Am I peeved? Well, a bit.

But I’m dead proud of Coralie.

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By Zoe | Posted in Belgium | Tagged Coralie | Comments (5)

TQOTD

Tuesday, June 8, 2010 – 10:55 pm

Last week I visited a friend. Just before serving me supper, which was supposed to be a pasta-bake, he announced:

“Oh, Zoe – I forgot the pasta.”

I expected soup, but it was, in fact, very good.

The Twit.

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By Zoe | Posted in Belgium | Tagged TQOTD | Comments (11)

Sun, sport, jungles and tortoises.

Monday, June 7, 2010 – 3:32 pm

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in here to give you all the news from the Twat Mansion so I decided that seeing as today is a bit windy outside I’ll come here and do some dusting.

To be honest, the weather hasn’t been that fantastic, just check out the number of times the players at Roland Garros had to suspend their games for a bit and you will see. (And who said it only rains in Belgium?) Having said that, when it’s been hot and sunny it has been fantastic and I even have a tan to prove it.

Coralie came back from her four-month stage in Tenerife, looking black as coal and appears to have thoroughly enjoyed her time out there. She now has a couple of exams and her thesis to write and hopefully she won’t be two steps behind me at the Dole office.

I had an interview last week for a position within a huge American company which looked very challenging so we’ll see how things go, and I hope to hear from a couple of other positions that I applied for. Summer is never a good time when it comes to job-hunting, but you never can tell.

Saturday was a fairly successful day as I managed to negotiate a deal with Todd and had my lawn mown for the first time this year. The grass was so long that my ancient and decrepit lawn mower carked it and is now in the garage waiting to be taken to the tip if I can’t resuscitate it next weekend. Buying a new one seems to be a pointless idea.

Hermie’s pen was so overgrown that I decided that it should be mowed too so as I played Hunt-the-tortoise for about half an hour only to find him next to my foot, Todd removed Hermie’s shed and water bowl. I now have a rather pissed off tortoise who doesn’t have any long grass to hide in. Still, the garden looks much better, I had 21 roses on my overgrown, unruly and unkept rose bush on Saturday and we’re back to taking out our stress by playing Swingball with gusto.

Next: the World Cup. Fantastic!

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