"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Sun, sport, jungles and tortoises.

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in here to give you all the news from the Twat Mansion so I decided that seeing as today is a bit windy outside I’ll come here and do some dusting.

To be honest, the weather hasn’t been that fantastic, just check out the number of times the players at Roland Garros had to suspend their games for a bit and you will see. (And who said it only rains in Belgium?) Having said that, when it’s been hot and sunny it has been fantastic and I even have a tan to prove it.

Coralie came back from her four-month stage in Tenerife, looking black as coal and appears to have thoroughly enjoyed her time out there. She now has a couple of exams and her thesis to write and hopefully she won’t be two steps behind me at the Dole office.

I had an interview last week for a position within a huge American company which looked very challenging so we’ll see how things go, and I hope to hear from a couple of other positions that I applied for. Summer is never a good time when it comes to job-hunting, but you never can tell.

Saturday was a fairly successful day as I managed to negotiate a deal with Todd and had my lawn mown for the first time this year. The grass was so long that my ancient and decrepit lawn mower carked it and is now in the garage waiting to be taken to the tip if I can’t resuscitate it next weekend. Buying a new one seems to be a pointless idea.

Hermie’s pen was so overgrown that I decided that it should be mowed too so as I played Hunt-the-tortoise for about half an hour only to find him next to my foot, Todd removed Hermie’s shed and water bowl. I now have a rather pissed off tortoise who doesn’t have any long grass to hide in. Still, the garden looks much better, I had 21 roses on my overgrown, unruly and unkept rose bush on Saturday and we’re back to taking out our stress by playing Swingball with gusto.

Next: the World Cup. Fantastic!