"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke
Todd and his Mohawk looking happy. I bumped into Tatiana in the supermarket and she told me that he has gone to Poland for a week to be with his girlfriend. Now I know how his dad copes with the boy – I certainly can’t.
There again, I wouldn’t part with my money for Todd to go on holiday, he doesn’t deserve it.
He’s lovely to photograph though.
I enjoy spending the good part of an hour washing moisturising cream off toilet doors and the surrounding area. It’s very therapeutic especially when you have to try, unsuccessfully, to get half of the stuff out of the key hole.
This is Todd’s latest temper tantrum – he threw it at the door from the bathroom because I wouldn’t give him €10 to pay back a friend.
The loo does, at least, smell nice now.
The best thing I did this weekend was go shopping with Tatiana who had kindly offered to prepare a barbecue before the World Cup final. The poor girl could hardly get me out of the freezer section where I was feeling very comfortable gazing at pizzas as I leant against the frozen peas section. It has been so hot lately that places such as the frozen food section of supermarkets and my cellar are my favourite haunts, although the temperature is supposed to drop by 10° today.
When we got home I found that the ants had found their way in again and there were thousands of the bloody things crawling around my French windows. This time they were mainly storm ants, many of whom had formed small clusters on the actual windows. I wasn’t quite sure how to tackle them exactly until Tatiana suggested getting the vacuum cleaner which seemed the only sensible option as they were crawling all around the entire French windows and it was impossible to see where the ants were actually coming in.
So while Tatiana cooked supper for us, I was vacuuming up ants. Storm ants – the ones with wings on. And just as their name suggests, we had a light storm during the Germany – Uruguay game which mucked the satellite around a bit and we had to watch the match in French. Excellent game, dire commentary.
The storm cooled things down for a bit but Sunday was another scorcher. Nevertheless, Tatiana wanted to go ahead with her barbecue, so I prepared a salad – again, as it’s all I really want to eat in this weather and we ate outside before going in to watch the World Cup final.
Great food, dire commentary, abysmal game.
“Mama, watching the corn pop in the microwave has been the most exciting thing to happen so far.”
I couldn’t have put it better.
I love the way Europeans adore their sculpture and this one really caught my eye near Bad Münster Eifel.
Right in the middle of a roundabout.
I went to see the dermatologist again today seeing as I appear to have a touch of the bubonic plague again. As the doctor explained how I managed to catch it again, with details from stress to my coil, she also told me to stay out of the sun. This would be fine if the weather forecast was predicting snow, but that’s hardly likely in these tropical climes. It is supposed to creep back up to 27°C tomorrow and 30°C the next day which makes it very difficult to stay indoors.
Tatiana went to the coast on Monday with her boyfriend and only put sun cream on her face and shoulders – which was an idiotic thing to do, especially when at the sea. Her stomach now glows in the dark and she looks like an extremely successful candidate should she wish to take up a career as a red traffic light.
I mentioned my love of the sun to the doctor today and she was incredibly understanding.
I was prescribed a paper bag.
Todd made a short appearance at home yesterday boasting his Mohawk which looked like a cross between a hedgehog that had been caught under a lawnmower and a Tin-tin hair-do. Apparently the hairdresser refused to shave off the sides completely so he doesn’t look quite as fearsome as I had expected – just a little silly. Todd then went off to boast his bruises that he got when pogoing and being thrown about by fans at Werchter. He has three and they failed to impress me so he started insulting me, then left and I’ve not seen him since.
I’ve already tried out my new lawnmower which is great and doesn’t involve trying to keep the handle up all the time which was what used to do my back in time and time again. I shall do the rest of the garden this afternoon, and I hate to say it, but I’m rather looking forward to it. The pond desperately needs filling up so that’s on the cards aswell before I flop infront of the TV to watch the football.
Coralie may come home tonight – she started working at the hotel on 1 July and appears to be very busy, according to Tatiana. Hermie is busy jogging around his pen although I do like taking food out to him, putting it near his face and using it as bait to see just how fast he can run.
Other than job-hunting, I’m slowly clearing out the house which seems to be taking forever but must be done.
And that was a little bit of this and that.
I dropped by the house yesterday as I haven’t been around much and the children are chez Papa. After checking on Hermie, changing his water and giving him something to eat I went upstairs to get something from my bedroom.
Hello? Why is Todd’s duvet and pillows on my bed?
Hello? Why is my king-size duvet and pillows on Todd’s two beds?
Hello? Why are there a couple of ‘things’ from my Box of Tricks that I keep hidden under my bed, in Todd’s room?
I stripped off all the sheets and shall be washing them at an extremely high wash and will be disinfecting my Toys for the next week; god only knows what Todd has done with them. This comes as a bit of a shock as I would never have thought that Todd would use my bed linen, let alone anything else.
There again, he did come flying downstairs last week wearing nothing but a very, very small towel while his girlfriend was upstairs, begging for a condom. Fortunately, a friend had a condom that was just within the sell-by-date in his wallet and the evening was obviously saved. For Todd.
I picked up the empty beer bottles that were strewn around the lawn, threw them out and left, wondering how to tackle Todd about using my house as a hotel. But I think I have other issues to think about now as I have just found out something else about Todd.
He has a Mohican hair-cut.
Best European Blog For Three Years Running -
Bloggies 2005, 2006 and 2007
Tell me I'm gorgeous. All you need to know about me, and more, if you ask.
About the Blog
This blog is mainly rants about my household, which has been described by a friend as a mixture of 'The Osbournes', 'Absolutely Fabulous' and 'My Family'.
People who have said this weren't smiling. Let's face it, it's bleeding obvious.
The household is made up of myself, Zoe, an oasis of calm, Coralie, a 21 year-old stroppy little cow, her twin sister, Tatiana, who bosses the Twat and me around and winds up their brother Todd, a seventeen-year old with the attention span of a goldfish.
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PictureNose - Current movie reviews, movie news and movie gossip.
Together magazine
Non Twats
3limes -
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Andy Ramblings -
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Bart -
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Bibil -
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Big n Juicy -
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If he does it, she blogs it. Makes good reading, not to mention the photography.
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Jonny B's private secret diary -
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A 21st Century Mom.
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Another Belgian, a great photographer.
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I love this blog which contains
the best photo of 2002.
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Vallalar - In the Eye of the Beholder -
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Walls Come Tumbling Down -
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Watski's World -
Whacky humour.
Flowers that I'd love to receive
T-Shirt Humor
The only T-Shirts that I'd ever buy are from T-Shirt Humor
Thanks To...
FeedBlitz - for the email update service.
Bravenet - for the guest map.
Andy - for being such a twat as to set all this up for me.
AND
Andy Hopkins for hosting and helping hugely to set this up.
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