"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke
I enjoy spending the good part of an hour washing moisturising cream off toilet doors and the surrounding area. It’s very therapeutic especially when you have to try, unsuccessfully, to get half of the stuff out of the key hole.
This is Todd’s latest temper tantrum – he threw it at the door from the bathroom because I wouldn’t give him €10 to pay back a friend.
The loo does, at least, smell nice now.
Best European Blog For Three Years Running -
Bloggies 2005, 2006 and 2007
Tell me I'm gorgeous. All you need to know about me, and more, if you ask.
About the Blog
This blog is mainly rants about my household, which has been described by a friend as a mixture of 'The Osbournes', 'Absolutely Fabulous' and 'My Family'.
People who have said this weren't smiling. Let's face it, it's bleeding obvious.
The household is made up of myself, Zoe, an oasis of calm, Coralie, a 21 year-old stroppy little cow, her twin sister, Tatiana, who bosses the Twat and me around and winds up their brother Todd, a seventeen-year old with the attention span of a goldfish.
I'm On Twitter
My Shopping Centre
You can buy my book by emailing me direct. It's made from recycled trees and no newts were harmed during the production. The Twat was. Much to my delight, mwahahahahaha ....
Spend, Spend, Spend at my gorgeous emporium - or shop for Merkins.
Spend more here. at my specially designed Euro Boutique.
MY FLICKR PHOTOS
Email Updates
Get a daily email of the latest activities of the twat in your inbox.
I won't tell a soul about your email address, just type it into the box thingy below.
Email Me
zoejmccarthy at gmail dot com
What's on in Belgium
Up Front Brussels
Expat Social Networking Website
PictureNose - Current movie reviews, movie news and movie gossip.
Together magazine
Non Twats
3limes -
A wonderful Expat blog brought to you from Uganda. Yes. Uganda.
(The) Aardvark Speaks -
Clever, funny, captivating.
AmberBamberBoo -
Life with 4 kids and Len.
Andy Ramblings -
A bit of this and a bit of that.
Anji Patchwork -
Family life in France.
Aprosexic -
An interesting read.
Area Trace No Search -
A police-blog. It keeps me captivated and is well worth a read.
Bart -
Another Belgian. Another excellent blog.
Bibil -
She cooks, she's smart and she gets me talking French again.
Big n Juicy -
Random mumblings about random things in a random way.
Blaugustine -
Nathalie's cartoon alter ego.
Blogeois -
Once mistaken for Canadian Royalty - shocking!
Blog from Abroad -
New house, DIY, a dog, a husband, two toddlers and a baby. Oh, and Lisa, who can cook.
Blogzira -
Lucy versus Portugal. More fun than the World Cup - well, we'll see this year.
Brain Lint -
Ellen, RIP.
(The) Brussels Jungle -
Satire at it's best.
(The) Cartoonist -
Quirky sketches from a quirky guy.
Chase me Ladies ... -
I chased, I read, I laughed.
Daddy Papersurfer -
A bizarre blog by an old git - and just because he now has his own domain name, nothing changes.
Daphne Wayne-Bough -
She's so classy, she's bonkers.
Diamond Geezer -
Everything you need to know about London - and more.
DulwichMum -
An amazing blog; funny, sarcastic and very tongue-in-cheek. It needs dusting though.
Family Affairs and Other Matters -
A continuation of a blog plus a huge picture of her arse.
Foilwoman's Diary -
When the going gets tough the tough gets going ....
F:lux -
If he does it, she blogs it. Makes good reading, not to mention the photography.
[from fuck-up to] fab! -
Female, frazzled, very kind. I'd say bonkers, too.
Gemmak -
A biker girl with a soft heart.
Goat Food -
I'd feel as miserable as he sounds if I lived in Crewe.
Gordon McLean -
All round genius. I owe him a Lada.
Guyana-Gyal -
Stories from South America.
Homo Escapeons -
He's from Canada and manages to come out with more than science and kittehs. Give him five.
How to Learn Swedish in 1000 Difficult Lessons -
A gay couple coping with foreign languages.
Invader Stu -
An English bloke stuck in Holland, drawing great cartoons, getting married (sort of) and having accidents.
Inspector Gadget -
The first police-blog that made me realise just what else is out there. Incredible, fascinating - read the others.
John Strain -
Sense and sensibility with a touch of sparkle.
Jo in Japan -
Life and musings of an English teacher in Japan.
Jonny B's private secret diary -
Life. In Norfolk.
Kaliyuga Kronicles -
He claims to be witty, urbane and handsome. Trouble is, he's not.
Krimo's (cookery) Blog -
An interesting and funny insight into the cooking world. Full of humour, love and compassion.
Life is a Pig! -
Life after 70 and several beers.
Little.Red.Boat -
A simple blog that captures each moment perfectly. She also loves making lists.
Me and my big mouth -
Scott Pack's blog.
Mimi in New York -
A Brit in the US.
Mr. Nighttime -
Superb writing from a usual suspect.
Mommy has a Headache -
Sex, children and laughter. Why wasn't she here before?
Past Imperfect -
Pat's life. A treasure to read.
(The)Pissed Kitty -
Insanely funny.
Publog -
A bloke, a pint, a wheelchair and a great sense of humour.
Raised by Chaffinches -
He's flown back.
(The) Red Mist -
Only added seeing as he thinks my Wish List is naff. And he lives in Wales.
Ricardiblog -
A Canuck finally starts blogging. After 6 years of persuasion, and all he blogs about is science and cars??
Route 79 -
2nd generation Indian in London and his musings.
Sablonneuse -
How does this woman live with what she puts up with - inspiration to us all.
Saltation -
A bloke who makes life sound funny.
Scaryduck -
A duck with a passion for Belgian buns.
Sim -
Sim's blog - powered by Girlpants and a small child.
Smaller than Life -
This blog makes my day complete.
The Mommy Blog -
A 21st Century Mom.
Tine -
Another Belgian, a great photographer.
Troubled Diva -
I love this blog which contains
the best photo of 2002.
Turquoise -
Lisa and Cameron back in Blighty, with yet another daughter.
Vallalar - In the Eye of the Beholder -
A photoblog from another lovely Belgian.
VeryVeryBored - The produce of someone who is incredibly bored.
Walls Come Tumbling Down -
Kenny. He's mad.
(The) Wrath of Dawn -
A Canuck. With a chainsaw.
AWOL Bloggers
A Free Man in Preston -
Oodles of laffs from t'up North.
Audi Olympics -
A screamingly funny blog from someone called Nigel.
Chez Milady -
The Slapper has disappeared again.
Counting Sheep -
There's more to counting sheep in this blog.
Goth of some sorts -
Based in Belgium, has Spanish roots and is originally from Wales. A Eurocrat, to be sure.
Honey Letting off Steam -
A family blog living in Wales which never fails to surprise, no matter what faces Honey.
It Always Rains in Wales -
Brought to you from Wales.
Joliet Jake -
He's absolutely off his head.
Mannekin Pics -
Daily photos of Brussels by Quarsan. An excellent photoblog.
href="http://www.nakedblog.com/">Naked Blog -
Saucey, daring, and incredibly interesting.
Rachel North -
Incredible. Strength, wit, love and dedication make this a top blog.
My Trailer is Bigger than Your Trailer -
This blog reads to you. Accent and all. Highly amusing.
s e v i t z d o t c o m -
Great humour, lousy speling.
Quickos Daily News - An update on Quickos' exciting
life with the Twat !
Speaking as a Parent -
Well-written. A blog that I can understand.
That's the way Life is ... -
A lovely little blog all the way from the West East Coast.
Watski's World -
Whacky humour.
Flowers that I'd love to receive
T-Shirt Humor
The only T-Shirts that I'd ever buy are from T-Shirt Humor
Thanks To...
FeedBlitz - for the email update service.
Bravenet - for the guest map.
Andy - for being such a twat as to set all this up for me.
AND
Andy Hopkins for hosting and helping hugely to set this up.
Britblogs
Copyright
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial- NoDerivs 2.0 License.
Look At My Ring
« # Euro Blogs ? »
18 Comments
the boy’s got good aim, you have to give him that. What are the odds against getting all that moisturising cream into the keyhole?
I guess the anger management classes didn’t work. Maybe he should look into a career as a baseball pitcher or cricket bowler?
Looks like seagull crap!
Hope you slapped him!!
I hope he learnt that even though the cream went everywhere he still didn’t get €10
No Anji – he just left and didn’t come back until 6 the next morning.
your son has moisturising cream ?
change the locks while he’s out – that’ll teach him
Direct him to his new sleeping area in the shed
i could say something smartass about moisturiizing, cream and wood…but I won’t.
oh, and then there’s sticking things in keyholes….
I’ve only just noticed that the piece of metal holding the handle and keyhole is dented…. Now that makes 2 doors that that boy has ruined.
How old is he really? Three?
Are you counting the days until you can change the locks?
He should have been cleaning it up himself. And if he refused, swap the door with his. Withdraw labour. Do not meet aggression with aggression. This will sort itself out, but it will take time.
Audrey – he’d left the house before I even saw the mess. I was, admittedly, scared that he would come home as I was alone so I called his father’s mother and explained. She took it up from there although the story he told her was quite, quite different. Obviously.
Wretched boy!
I absolutely agree with Bart on this one. Any chance you can tell him he’s behaving like a three year old when he does things like that?
If he was mine I would sell him on the Slave Market, or swap him for a can of Fosters.
You should’ve used his underpants [fresh, clean ones] to wipe it off…the insides of the underpants…so when he wears ‘em…
It must’ve been scary for you.
Damn teenagers……there should to be a special place for them all to be locked up until the age of 20…not saying they get better….don’t want to give you any false hope :/
Maybe it’s time for you and the Twat to move to Twatislavia or the ancestral McCarthy family estate and pool hall. Just don’t tell Todd.