"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Todd N°. 5,380 (and still going).

I dropped by the house yesterday as I haven’t been around much and the children are chez Papa. After checking on Hermie, changing his water and giving him something to eat I went upstairs to get something from my bedroom.

Hello? Why is Todd’s duvet and pillows on my bed?

Hello? Why is my king-size duvet and pillows on Todd’s two beds?

Hello? Why are there a couple of ‘things’ from my Box of Tricks that I keep hidden under my bed, in Todd’s room?

I stripped off all the sheets and shall be washing them at an extremely high wash and will be disinfecting my Toys for the next week; god only knows what Todd has done with them. This comes as a bit of a shock as I would never have thought that Todd would use my bed linen, let alone anything else.

There again, he did come flying downstairs last week wearing nothing but a very, very small towel while his girlfriend was upstairs, begging for a condom. Fortunately, a friend had a condom that was just within the sell-by-date in his wallet and the evening was obviously saved. For Todd.

I picked up the empty beer bottles that were strewn around the lawn, threw them out and left, wondering how to tackle Todd about using my house as a hotel. But I think I have other issues to think about now as I have just found out something else about Todd.

He has a Mohican hair-cut.