"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Being accident-prone isn’t a Good Thing.

I’ve just come back from a lovely short stay with friends in northern France. They live in a beautiful converted barn which dates from the 17th century. Or maybe the 18th. I’m not too good on dates. I’d only just recovered from falling off a chair when putting a salad bowl away, thus splitting my head open and despite clutching a piece of frozen fish against my head, ended up with a huge and painful bump when I decided to knock my head again when getting out of a 2CV. That sent me flying on the pavement and my head was promptly seen to by our hostess.

Kenny won’t invite me to go anywhere again with him and he’s supposed to be stopping here tomorrow to take the Twat and I out for dinner. I must try and stay upright.

Brussels was warm and balmy last night but I’m almost tempted to put the heating on today. My toes have gone blue and I’m back to drinking steaming mugs of tea again. My letterbox was full of spam and a bank statement, my inbox had a job application rejection – and more spam, notably from that charming young boy who used to leave insults here.

My run to the Dole office was amusing as usual. I had a fight with the door only to be told by a passerby that it was shut. I was convinced that it was Monday today for some reason, hence the confusion. My monthly visits are getting to be depressing as it’s almost a year since I have been out of work and this is a first for me. Still, Belgium has woken up after the summer holidays and hopefully something will come along.

And I think it’s time that Hermie sleeps indoors at night now. I’d hate his claws to go blue.