"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Boys can’t catch.

Kenny has been and gone. He arrived looking fit and well and left looking like a wounded soldier. Naturally, he’s blaming me, but for once it wasn’t my fault at all. It’s all very simple: I threw a ball at Kenny. Kenny tried to catch it. Kenny got his knees in a twist, hit a marble table and then crashed on the patio.


No broken bones, no broken glasses (how did he manage that?) – but a rather broken head which was bandaged up rather expertly by my mate Roger. This happened, thankfully, after Kenny had taken the Twat and I out for dinner because had it happened before I think I may well have been left at home. And to think that idiotic accidents only happen when slightly intoxicated. I believe that I have proved myself wrong again and just hope, really hope, that Kenny pays us another visit as the long talks in the garden were great.

At least this visit took my mind off things for a while, but I am back to hoping to hear from 5 other job applications that I have submitted as well as the endless search for a job.

The children should have come home yesterday, but the girls are with their boyfriends and Todd never replied to my message so presumably he is with his girlfriend. He’ll turn up eventually – he’s a bit like a stray dog in that sense; you can’t get rid of the sod.

Hermie is sleeping indoors at night now but takes so long to get out of his wellie that I ended up tipping him out the other day and this morning I resorted to taking his wellie outside and putting it in his pen. Hermie wasted no time coming out then.

Aha! Somebody is at the front door.

It can only be Todd.


  1. Posted Saturday, September 4, 2010 at 1:28 pm | Permalink

    Ouch poor Kenny. So which was it really? You throwing like a girl or him catching like a girl? :p

  2. Anonymous, too
    Posted Saturday, September 4, 2010 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    What kind of a ball did you throw for Kenny to catch? A bowling ball?

    It’s nice to hear that Herman is doing well. Does he still think he can climb like Spiderman?

    And, who was at the door? Todd? Todd with a police officer? One of the girls with a wheelbarrow of laundry?

    Guess I’ll have to stay tuned for the next episode of the hit soap opera “The Young, The Restless, and The Twat” to find out!

  3. Posted Saturday, September 4, 2010 at 2:13 pm | Permalink

    Ironic that you should mention laundry. One the girls turned up for a couple of minutes and pretty much the only words she said were to ask the Zedmeister to do her laundry by Sunday morning.

    Kenny’s head is a mess. I do not catch like a girl.

    And now we have established that Zoe’s local tabac sells my brand of cigarettes, you can count on a return trip in the not too distant future. Guess I should let my head heel first.

  4. Posted Saturday, September 4, 2010 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    Gah. I appear to have lost the ability to construct a sentence or spell.

    “One of the girls” and “heal”.

    Shoot me now Billy.

  5. Posted Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 5:00 pm | Permalink

    Are you the hostess that comes with a health warning?

  6. Posted Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 10:01 pm | Permalink

    Yes, Anji – and the guest.

  7. Posted Monday, September 6, 2010 at 1:54 am | Permalink

    Maybe you can hand out helmets as you greet your guests at the door 🙂

  8. Posted Monday, September 6, 2010 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    Your life seems pretty accident prone at the moment.
    Did your caller go away in one piece?

  9. Posted Tuesday, September 7, 2010 at 6:11 am | Permalink

    You really shouldn’t beat people up when they visit, it will put them off you know.