"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Todd, sorted.

It wasn’t what I wanted, to be honest, but Todd has decided to live with his dad and PHT full-time. This doesn’t really mean that much as he only spends the weekends there and his dad is going slightly mental about the forthcoming holidays as Todd doesn’t want to come here at all. I feel sad but slightly relieved about Todd’s decision as the house is lovely and quiet without him slamming doors, playing ghastly music very loudly (parents aren’t supposed to like their children’s taste in music), shouting at his sisters and me, etc. On the other hand, I feel as though I have failed him as a mother, but hopefully, he’ll want to live here again for a bit before I have to move.

We’ve had our fair share of snow, amounting to about 10cms last Saturday until it started raining during the night and washed it all away. I haven’t seen so much of the white stuff fall in years and I really needed to get out last week so I did. During a snow blizzard. Dragging my granny trolley back from the shop was a bit of a nightmare and I ended up with a fucked back. I really should invest in some good gloves, too, as Tatiana lost my thick woollen ones last year.

Coralie has looked at her first apartment but apparently it was too expensive. At €700 per month, heating only included, I’m inclined to agree – especially as there was only one bedroom. And people wonder why I don’t want to rent – talk about throwing your money away. With whatever I get from the sale of this house – and I’m really hoping it will be slightly more than €100k as any less and I will end up living in the city and I have never lived in a city – I like trees and bees and things.

SAD hit me very early on this year and it’s getting worse so I am thinking of buying a SAD light. They look rather expensive so I will have to wait until I get a job which defeats the entire purpose of buying one as I’ll be old Miss Doom and Gloom in the corner of the office. These jobs are simply throwing themselves at me hard and fast – I can’t keep up. The temping job that I did last month had me sticking needles in my eyes as it was two solid days of listening to somebody talk into a dictaphone and then type up whatever he or she was saying. Fortunately we were fast and rather than stick it out for 4 days, we got it done in 2. Less money, but I felt less suicidal at the end, as well.

I also have an interview on Friday, although all the interviews I’ve been to so far have been far from fruitful, so no fingers need be crossed. If I get it, I get it.

Right, time for a cuppa and start emptying a cupboard.