"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Author Archives: Zoe

I’ve moved.

Learning English Again Well, I had to go somewhere.

When The Music’s Over…

You stop blogging. I’ve thought about it and there are pros and cons. The pros being that I’m starting a new phase in my life with Hermie, although I don’t know where and there are bound to be some hiccups along the way which could be amusing, and the cons being that the Twat, though […]

A Zoeism.

Zoe: “Do you subscribe to Private Eye?” “Yes – well, it’s a gift from my parents.” “Oh.” “You don’t seem too happy about it, Zoe.” “Well, I don’t usually do VD, but it’s a nice present to give.”

Wonky needles.

After having treated my stomach like a pin cushion for the past 4 weeks, leaving it bruised and sore after the odd needle bent slightly after jabbing it into my finger first by mistake, I’m happy to say that I no longer have to go through that morning ritual as the cast is finally off. […]

Two down, one to go.

This year started off well: Coralie has moved out too, now. Well, she is 21, she does have a job and so it only made sense to find an apartment nearer town to move into with her boyfriend. She was rather crafty on choosing the date as for christmas she received gifts such as a […]

Having a shower.

Some people, whose name I won’t mention, are so demanding. Here’s your christmas card, Vicus.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

(Photo taken by Coralie who isn’t used to my camera, hence the blurring.) Coralie kindly drove me to A&E yesterday and even waited with me. I was seen to pretty quickly and the xrays proved that ….. I’ve broken my foot somewhere just below my little toe which is why I am now in plaster […]

And so that was christmas.

The last christmas to be spent in this house was a quiet one. The week previous to it, I managed to fall up the stairs and sprain my ankle quite badly and so I spent the week hobbling around on a rather bruised foot. Come christmas day and I was knocking back painkillers like smarties, […]

Todd, sorted.

It wasn’t what I wanted, to be honest, but Todd has decided to live with his dad and PHT full-time. This doesn’t really mean that much as he only spends the weekends there and his dad is going slightly mental about the forthcoming holidays as Todd doesn’t want to come here at all. I feel […]

Inevitable, really…. (NSFW)

Piece by Piece.

Little by little I see the slight movements of Coralie making her move out of the house. She agreed to pay a small contribution towards the house without any fuss once she started her job. Now she has a car of which I am proud that she bought as the three other children in the […]

I’m all shook up.

I don’t think that my body particularly likes my left fuck-you finger very much. Some of you may remember my close escape from death last year when I managed to end up being taken to hospital by ambulance with all sirens blaring after slightly cutting the top of said finger. All I needed was a […]

The Weepies – and a video.

By That’s the Way Life Is.

Oh Todd.

Last week he claimed that he couldn’t return to his boarding school on the Sunday evening as there was to be a train strike the following day. Eh? His father drives him down to Wavre every Sunday so what’s that got to do with a train strike? The bleeding obvious: the boy didn’t want to […]


That’s what happens when three other people in the house have coughs and colds. I’m on the way to losing my voice. They’ll be delighted.