"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Author Archives: Zoe

Time for hibernation.

With the job-front looking bleak and the cold weather coming in for real this time – I mean, it’s going to rain tomorrow, and I’ve still not cut the grass, I’m tempted to stay in bed all day. It is so difficult to get up in the mornings when I can see that it is […]

I’ve been away….

zoeinbrussels by Hermie …but Hermie hasn’t.

Scary. Very scary.

Yesterday I went for an interview for a job that, although wasn’t a job that I would normally go for, was nevertheless, a job. It seemed like a pleasant place to work and I gave it my best. As usual, I won’t hear until next week, but then, that is better then some interviews that […]

Todd, N° god knows what.

Last Saturday Todd decided to make an appearance. He sat next to me and chatted a bit and then said: “Look, mum.” Todd lifted up his tshirt to show off his third piercing: a nipple piercing. I grabbed my boobs in case they started hurting and stared at the barbell through my son’s nipple. “Did […]

Growing up.

Nobody told me that having children was easy, although at the moment I am finding it even harder realising that one of my daughters is about to fly the nest. Coralie went to get her exam results on Tuesday and despite having had to re-take seven exams she passed with “satisfaction”, whatever that may translate […]

Boys can’t catch.

Kenny has been and gone. He arrived looking fit and well and left looking like a wounded soldier. Naturally, he’s blaming me, but for once it wasn’t my fault at all. It’s all very simple: I threw a ball at Kenny. Kenny tried to catch it. Kenny got his knees in a twist, hit a […]

Being accident-prone isn’t a Good Thing.

I’ve just come back from a lovely short stay with friends in northern France. They live in a beautiful converted barn which dates from the 17th century. Or maybe the 18th. I’m not too good on dates. I’d only just recovered from falling off a chair when putting a salad bowl away, thus splitting my […]

I am Wonder Woman.

I sometimes wonder how the Belgian ambulances work so maybe somebody can put me straight. Last week, a car hit a bollard as the driver tried to make a u-turn and ended up turning over completely, trapping the two people inside. I ran to the car along with several other people to see if I […]

Now they’re here, now they’re not.

My parents made a brief visit to Brussels again this year and so I met up with them the night they arrived and had an excellent supper at Jardin du Nicolas and then prepared for a barbecue with the children the following day. We weren’t sure whether or not the rain would hold off but […]

Lazing on a Sunday afternoon.

There is nothing more that pisses me off than somebody fucking around with my life. Sunday morning started out fine – until I tried to Skype someone only to find that Alexsander123 had hacked into my account and was quite happily using it yesterday. Fortunately, I only had about €1 credit, so no loss there […]

It could be worse.

The ‘children’ are back again and Todd is none the wiser. He has broken two more doors simply by hitting them and all I was trying to do was talk to him. Perhaps I should ignore him totally and he’ll love me forever, but that really isn’t my way of bringing up a child. The […]

Todd

zoeinbrussels by Happy ‘punk’ Todd and his Mohawk looking happy. I bumped into Tatiana in the supermarket and she told me that he has gone to Poland for a week to be with his girlfriend. Now I know how his dad copes with the boy – I certainly can’t. There again, I wouldn’t part with […]

Things I do for fun.

I enjoy spending the good part of an hour washing moisturising cream off toilet doors and the surrounding area. It’s very therapeutic especially when you have to try, unsuccessfully, to get half of the stuff out of the key hole. This is Todd’s latest temper tantrum – he threw it at the door from the […]

Bloody ants.

The best thing I did this weekend was go shopping with Tatiana who had kindly offered to prepare a barbecue before the World Cup final. The poor girl could hardly get me out of the freezer section where I was feeling very comfortable gazing at pizzas as I leant against the frozen peas section. It […]

Test

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