"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Category Archives: Belgium

Catching up with times.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 – 5:42 am

I should stop complaining about Easter eggs being everywhere as the Twat has just right pointed out to me that Sunday just happens to be Easter. Where did the time go? I blame my calendar really as it’s confusing with today being the last day of March and therefore there are blank squares until I [...]

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Sod’s Law.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010 – 12:13 pm

My life nearly ended last night when I realised that I couldn’t connect to the internet. Far little is worse than this sort of nightmare, but even the Twat couldn’t get it working again. What on earth does one do in such situations? Read? Watch TV? Feeling very put out, I did the latter and [...]

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Home again.

Monday, March 22, 2010 – 8:26 am

I’ve been away in Holland for the past week and had a wonderful time in between job-hunting. The scariest thing that I did was to go cycling – I’ve never cycled in Holland before and it is scary. Using someone else’s bike with brakes that hardly work is also very scary but at least I [...]

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Todd’s arse.

Monday, March 15, 2010 – 8:00 pm

This is what happens when I leave my son in the Twat's charge for a weekend. They go out to Churchill's bar in Brussels and my son bares all to have the female guitarist playing on Todd's former English teacher's band sign his arse. Now who’s the bad parent?

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I must be emo.

Saturday, March 13, 2010 – 10:23 am

Todd got this song into my head ages ago.  The lyrics are fantastic.

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Crossroads.

Thursday, March 11, 2010 – 7:31 am

I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my life and am not sure whether to go straight on, turn left or risk going right.  This has been coming on for almost a year now so I think I shall carry on straight for a bit until I meet another crossroads – or get run [...]

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It doesn’t help, you Third World Country.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 – 7:08 pm

Belgium seems to think that it will help this commune by cutting down on our gas and electricity bills.  Naturally, in order to do this, works have to be undertaken.  In order to undertake these works, our gas and electricity supplies have to be cut off. It’s all very well telling us about this in [...]

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TQOTD

Thursday, March 4, 2010 – 8:45 pm

A friend visited us yesterday and turned to me at one point asking: “So you’ve been pretty abstemious then?” “Errrrr, What? What does abstemious mean?” The Twat: “No, you wouldn’t know what that meant, would you?” Pffffft.

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It was good to get away.

Monday, March 1, 2010 – 9:15 pm

Thanks to the Twat I was allowed to “go fishing” last weekend with a superb friend of mine of at least 8 years.  We talked a lot, ate a lot and drank a lot, as you do.  Getting away was a great relief from everything and I hope that I can do it again some [...]

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Brrrrr.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010 – 7:46 am

The house started cooling down slowly on Saturday although we were lucky to get some sunshine to warm up the living-room.   On Sunday morning the thermostat told me that the house had gone down to 15°C and I spent most of the day trying to find ways of crawling into Hermie’s cage and basking under [...]

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Oh great.

Saturday, February 20, 2010 – 1:10 pm

Whenever the children were sick and needed to see a doctor they always adhered to Murphy’s Law and fell ill over a weekend.  Whenever something goes wrong in this house, Murphy’s Law also applies. My heater broke this morning. This means no hot water and no heating until I can get a chauffagiste in to [...]

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Thirty-four.

Thursday, February 18, 2010 – 8:40 am

I used to love this day of the year but for the past twenty years it has become nothing but a drag, usually spent in the office where it was of no significance to anybody else and after a bit that rubbed off on me too.  It’s Thursday today and so far my week has [...]

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The Twat is asthmatic.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010 – 9:16 pm

And yet he has started to smoke again on a regularly basis. I ‘saved’ his life once, back in 2002, when I blackmailed him into going to hospital.  He could have died then. I only allowed him home on the promise that he would give up smoking.  Even I gave up to help him back [...]

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My postman.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010 – 9:36 am

The postman that does the rounds in this area has to be the most miserable sod ever created.  He stands up to the typical ‘Belgian stereotype’: moody, silent and very, very Flemish.  Oh, and customer service?  Yes, well, I think that’s best left aside. I dislike stereotyping any nationality, but whenever I do see groans [...]

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It’s Annual Shag Day!

Sunday, February 14, 2010 – 10:25 am

Well, this snow goes back to last December,  but even so, isn’t it just oh, so jaw-droppingly romantic?  The Twat didn’t pee out the words but instead, spent ages shuffling out the words to make a wonderful sign in the road, for perhaps four neighbours to see.  The heart had been done earlier by Tatiana, [...]

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