"You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You’re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart. " - John Cooper Clarke

Category Archives: kitchen

>The kitchen is an amazing place.

>I’ve not been in there much as I gave up cooking ages ago. I tend to lean back with a glass of Bordeaux and delegate tasks to the poor minions dying of starvation under my very roof. You can’t really blame me as I have a bad back and a blister on my right foot. […]


>Beneath the smoke, there’s Spring.

>Oh gawd, I’m a mess in the kitchen, I really am. The Twat is correct, just don’t let him know about this statement, but really, I should not be allowed in the kitchen. Last night he prepared a watery curry for me before leaving for something. It may have been a meeting or a drink; […]