When we got home I found that the ants had found their way in again and there were thousands of the bloody things crawling around my French windows. This time they were mainly storm ants, many of whom had formed small clusters on the actual windows. I wasn’t quite sure how to tackle them exactly until Tatiana suggested getting the vacuum cleaner which seemed the only sensible option as they were crawling all around the entire French windows and it was impossible to see where the ants were actually coming in.

So while Tatiana cooked supper for us, I was vacuuming up ants. Storm ants – the ones with wings on. And just as their name suggests, we had a light storm during the Germany – Uruguay game which mucked the satellite around a bit and we had to watch the match in French. Excellent game, dire commentary.

The storm cooled things down for a bit but Sunday was another scorcher. Nevertheless, Tatiana wanted to go ahead with her barbecue, so I prepared a salad – again, as it’s all I really want to eat in this weather and we ate outside before going in to watch the World Cup final.

Great food, dire commentary, abysmal game.

“Mama, watching the corn pop in the microwave has been the most exciting thing to happen so far.”

I couldn’t have put it better.

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Yesterday was just another incident to add to my list. As I came back to watch one of the World Cup matches after half-time I went to close the door and on moving towards the sofa, somehow managed to trip over my feet, fall flat on my arse and knock the cabinet on which the TV was on.

Now I wouldn’t say that my feet are big – they are fairly normal, but when my back hit the cabinet the following sound wasn’t good as I slowly heard the TV make a slow dive off it. Horrified as to the events that were slowly unfolding behind me I simply sat there, eyes tightly shut.

My friend came over and pulled up the TV and simply said “Zoe, it’s still working – look”. I slowly turned around and fair enough, the match was still going on.

Still mortified, I sat down and watched the rest of the match, but if you want a reliable and tough TV, go to Tesco.

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